Jasmine’s Story
--Peg Kraft
If a story is too sad to be read than is it too sad to write?
And that is me. Today. Sad.
I have a story to write and it’s an important story and here’s the thing. I’ve been putting it off.
“Why is that?” you may wonder.
I can justify it by saying I had other trains to put on before that caboose, other works in the pipeline or in plain English, I had older stories to write first.
I once had a conversation with a very wise woman whom I have had the pleasure and honor of calling my mother for 55 years, that dealt with an issue of time I was having while writing a story.
“It doesn’t really matter when it happened,” she answered my question. “Last week or last month, it wasn’t really relevant to the story.”
And in this case, right now, with the stories I am writing you, time isn’t relevant either so that’s a pretty flimsy excuse.
I am in the process of writing My Girl T and the next story is starting to stretch and yawn and awaken in my head. Stories seem to take on a life of their own and this one got it’s name today.
Jasmine’s Story.
I was going to sit down and read an email message from Jasmine and let it rattle around in my head while I finished writing My Girl T but found out I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t read the email the whole way through. It made me too sad. Let me start at the beginning and maybe if you help me, we can get through this together.
Earlier this month I sent out, via email, the latest chapter- hot off the presses!- of My Story, the memoirs of Dorothy R. Bowers, my mom.
A couple of weeks later I get an email from Jasmine. Although Jasmine and my nephew Eric are not technically- legally married, they have been together a long time and have children together.
“Which one is Eric?” my children may wonder. This is a question I often get when I talk of family that my children don’t know. Oh the banes of having lived so far away.
Eric is the son of Charles, one of my brothers (I have seven brothers you know) which makes Eric your first cousin.
Now, in prep for some story or another I was looking through old photographs and saw a picture of Charles, Eric and my mother that would have been perfect for here, but do you think I can find it now that I need it? No! But I did find this old school photo of Charles that I thought you might enjoy.
I also found a photo of Jaiyden that I love.
Jaiyden is one of Eric and Jasmine’s daughters. Here she is with my beautiful, hot mess of a sister Phyllis. It was a steamy July afternoon in twenty-ten, during a family reunion and Phyllis had been playing with all the babies.
Who doesn’t love babies?
I didn’t know they had been expecting another baby.
Then I got this email.
“Eric asked me to send you an email and pictures of the baby. He’s still in the hospital. He was born 1.4.15, 4lb 3oz, 16 inches. He wasn't due until February 21st and he was diagnosed with Charge Syndrome. He’s had several procedures done to open his nasal passages ...now they think it's best to put a feeding tube in- they're planning on doing that on Monday...unfortunately Eric is in jail. I don’t know how long he’s going to be there but anyway here’s some pictures & I hope everyone is doing as good as they can.”
I called Momma. “Momma did you know that Eric and Jasmine had a baby boy?” She usually tells me when babies are born in our family and sometimes I just don’t process the information. I forget. Sometimes I see or get the announcements on social media before she does and I tell her.
“No. I knew they were going to have one but I never heard when he was born,” Momma said. “What’s his birth date?” and I could hear her shuffle things around on her desk, in search of paper and pencil, I presume.
“Well just let me read you the email,” I said. I was ready for her and had it open on my computer.
“What is this Charge Syndrome?” Momma asked after I finished.
“I don’t know, you want me to Google it?”
“Yes.”
“In 1981, the term "CHARGE" came into use as an acronym for the set of unusual congenital features seen in a number of newborn children.” I read from Wikipedia. “The letters stand for: coloboma of the eye, heart defects, atresia of the nasal choanae, retardation of growth and/or development, genital and/or urinary abnormalities, and ear abnormalities and deafness. These features are no longer used in making a diagnosis of CHARGE syndrome, but the name remains. CHARGE syndrome is the leading cause of congenital deafblindness.”
“Oh my,” Momma said and I could hear the profound sadness creep into her voice. No one loved babies more than my mother. She uttered such a heart wrenching “Oh my” that I can still hear it echoing in my head.
“What did they name him?”
“I’ll email and ask,” I told Momma, then added. “Any idea why Eric’s in jail?”
“No.”
I composed a quick email and sent it off. “Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry to hear about the problems with the babe. Can you give me his full name for my birthday book. Can I put this news in my weekly family and friends letter? Love and prayers sweetheart.”
The next day, this email was waiting in my inbox for me.
“I named him Eric Scott Platt-Bowers Jr., he was born 6:01 pm. I feel bad for not remembering all his little details cuz I do with the girls. I have just been going thru so much stress-wise and worrying. I don't have anything I need for him yet. Just a few clothes people gave me because I stupidly got rid of stuff from the girls and now this whole thing with Eric. Everything’s just a mess. The Charge Syndrome thing they told me is a rare genetic disorder, they can’t tell me much about it but said that we aren't at risk of it happening again. Of course you can include him in your letter. Eric did want me to send his love to everyone especially Granny. He’s been wanting us to get up to see her but things never work out as planned for us.”
“Thanks for the pics,” I emailed Jasmine. “Could you give me the full names and birthdates of the girls as well as yours for my birthday book. I don't know why I don't already have this info.” And curiosity getting the best of me, I added, “Can you tell me why Eric is in jail?”
“I have more photos but my phone backed them up to Google or something and now, since my phone broke and I’m using Eric’s I don’t know how to get them. Just as long as they aren’t lost forever it’s fine by me.
Destini Renae Platt 6 20 07
Jaiyden Sue Platt 9 19 09
And mine 11 04 (I won’t print her year of birth)
Frankly, I would be too!
“…because I don't know and no one can tell me and the thought of doing it all alone scares me even more and right now I’m just pretty down and upset and super stressed...I’ll be ok thou, I don't have a choice. I hate having to take the kids to see their daddy cause the visit isn't even contact. It’s sad for them.”
I could say all kinds of things and lots of them are not very sympathetic. Maybe some of the same things were running through your mind too as you read Jasmine’s account of Eric’s legal problems.
“Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time,” is one.
Maybe Eric shouldn’t have had the ‘weed’ on him. And we won’t even talk about how some states are de-criminalizing marijuana and treating it much the same as alcohol.
Driving with no license? All I can say about that is he knew he shouldn’t have but in light of the circumstances wouldn’t you or I have done the same thing?
Maybe he should have stuck to the speed limit that day or used his turn signal or whatever the offense was that got him pulled over in the first place. Maybe the cop knew him and knew he didn’t have a license. I don’t know. But this I do know. Recriminations don’t help a thing. And neither does pity or sympathy.
But brownies do. Brownies can be the answer. Brownies can solve a whole lot of problems. What to do with extra eggs and butter. What to do with the cocoa in the cupboard. What treat can I make for my husband. What to do on a rainy day, and my favorite excuse, “The house is chilly- I think I’ll bake something.”
I was sitting there, in my comfortable home, with my pitiful little problems, smelling the chocolaty sweet aroma of a freshly baked batch of brownies cooling on the counter, reading Jasmine’s email.
I was sad. How could the parole officer be so hardhearted!
“I am sad for you,” I wrote Jasmine. “but don't know how I can help. I doubt a batch of homemade brownies would help but I will certainly do what I can to help.” I didn’t have any baby things to send her. My babies are long grown and gone. I don’t have any money to send her. All I have is me. “Oh, I can write your story and if you give me a list of your needs, an address where people - family and friends-there are like 50 people who read my weekly letters - we will see if there is anyone out there who will send you some of the things that you need. A joy shared is a double joy, a burden shared is half a burden. Peace and love.”
I know there are no better people in this world than you guys. I know that if you can, you will help Jasmine. Look around and see if there aren’t things that you have that you don’t use anymore. Things that you don’t need or your kids have outgrown. Maybe you were going to donate them to your church rummage sale.
Yeah, I hear you. There is that postage thing.
Maybe you have a few extra bucks sitting around waiting for a good excuse to be spent. That’s just a stamp. I guess you’ll have to search your heart and see if and what or how much you can bear.
Jasmine sent me a long email and knowing what it was about, I didn’t read more than the first few lines. I will read it when I need the info, I thought to myself.
This morning I needed it. And I started reading it.
“I don’t have a car seat or stroller for him but the hospital said if I watch a video they'll give me a car seat. I don’t have a bouncy seat, a swing, high chair, a jumper (I’m unsure if he can even use one or when) or a bath tub. I didn't get anything and I didn't know what I’d need. I’m unsure of what size diaper he’d be in, he's about 8lbs now.”
Eight pounds at almost four months old, that sounds small to me. I kept reading.
“Maybe one of those boppy pillows and bamboo (I think) chairs they have, they're kind of funny looking but might be good for him. I was told he could have some developmental delays and that could be because he was born early or because of the Charge or because he has an under developed cerebellum. They also said he might not have any delays at all. I have clothes that people have given him. I’m not sure what I’m going to need medically if anything, he’s supposed to have another procedure done to open his nasal passage a little more tomorrow (Monday the 20th) and they are going to put a feeding tube in. They feel this is what’s best and they say it’s hopefully not permanent. I was told to apply for social security for him and I did. I thought, ‘cool I can get him everything he needs’ but it's not going to kick in until after he comes home and I have no clue when that is going to be yet. They are talking about switching him to a rehab for babies somewhere in Lancaster and that would be great because then he’ll be closer to home and I can see him more. Unfortunately I can count on both hands how many times I’ve seen him because he’s in Philadelphia and I can't afford the trip nor do I have a reliable, safe vehicle.”
And that was all the further I read.
How sad is that? E.J. (Eric Junior) is almost four months old and his mother has seen him less than ten times. I can’t imagine what it must be like for Jasmine.
So, let’s read on, shall we?
“They're going to want me to take classes on feeding tubes and C.P.R. and for the car seat I’m not sure how I’m going to make it there to take that class. Its all been pretty tough financially and mentally trying my best to get back and forth as much as possible and it isn’t nearly often enough and trying to maintain and keep house with life as normal as possible for the girls. I know there’s going to be all kinds of tests and stuff for him to where it’ll probably be a lot of back and forth once he does get home. I was told he’s definitely going to require more surgeries for various different things. I’ve done a little research but not much. Unfortunately my internet got shut off so from what I’m told (in his case anyway) the c stands for eyes and they are confident he can see out of his right eye for sure but they need to check the other things...h is for heart and a is for atresia which he had and they opened (guess that’s the medical term for the blockage in his nose)...r is for renal & they said that looked fine....g is for growth and e is for ears which again like his eyes he can definitely hear out of one but are unsure about the other. He’s such a happy baby for all he’s been thru from what the nurses tell me. I wish I could be with him more then I am but hopefully soon. I just hope he doesn't forget who I am or the sound of my voice.”
That was one fear I never had to have.
“That’s all I can think of for now as far as what he needs or as far as what I know he’s going to need. They can’t tell me much on the Charge Syndrome other then wait and see. I’m pretty positive he’ll have a physical therapist, he has one now. We had a friend of the family (he knew my grandpa) staying here with us and he’s like another grandparent to the kids because he has Alzheimer and we were helping care for him and that helped us a lot financially because he put money towards the bills and I could use his vehicle to go see the baby. Well as soon I had the baby and we told his brother that he might have to watch him a for a few hours here or there, they had him put in a home to "help" me which made things so much worse because now I can't afford anything and I don't have transportation so I’m probably going to have to see about getting on some list through state or something and moving because I don't know how I’m going to be able to afford it. Things are already getting shut off ...everything is a mess...but for now I’m at the same spot.
Jasmine Platt
402 S Front St
Wrightsville PA 17368.
I don't like asking for help because for some reason its just how I am but I need it so- thank you. I appreciate it. Even if all anyone has to give me are words of encouragement. That helps. I can't even begin to describe how horrible it makes me feel that as a parent I can't get the things for my baby that he needs and that’s just him because the girls are gonna need clothes and shoes soon and Dez’s birthday is coming up in June and I’m starting to get ahead of myself and stress about it. It’s too far in the future. I have to take it one day and one step at a time. It’s probably the only way I’ll get through this.
You can use Eric’s email to be in touch with me or mine is jazzi11487@gmail.com and the phone number is 717-758-8107. I tend to text more then talk because sometimes I can't think or because of the girls and I don’t get good service. I was thinking of making a Go Fund Me account but I’m not sure how or having those donation jars at the gas stations, since his syndrome is so rare, to try and help ease some of expense but I haven’t done that but again thanks so much.
_Jasmine
It sounds to me like Jasmine needs family and friends to rally around her. To pitch in and help. If I was there I could make the jars and take them to the gas stations for her. I don’t know anything about Go Fund Me accounts. (thinking, thinking, thinking)
Could I do it here in Missouri when the babe is in Pennsylvania? The donation jars at the gas station thing I mean?
Even if all you have to give are prayers, than that would be perfect.
Prayers are powerful.
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