No one knew anything about it until she started getting the migraines, that’s when they found it. During the course of this harrowing and heartbreaking journey they discovered that Cindy had had her lung cancer for about two years.
My cute little redheaded brother Richard and his beautiful wife flew to the Cancer Institute in Chicago. “Cindra (Richard often calls her by her proper name) did not like to fly...she thought she would not like flying. We went to these parks and fairs and stuff where they had the Ferris Wheels and she never liked being up high so she figured she’d never want...doesn’t want to fly but we had to go out to Chicago and we had to be there right away so she said okay. We were at the very back of the plane and the stewardess was right there. She noticed I had my Go-Pro Camera and I wasn’t pointing it out the window, I was pointing it toward Cindra. She asked about it and I told her it was Cindra’s first flight, she probably wouldn’t like it so I wanted to make sure I got it taped. Laugh about it later, you know? We were up there and hit a little bit of turbulence and she looked a little worried, but not that much. We got on the ground and she said, ‘That wasn’t that bad,’” and Richard chuckled at the memory.
At the cancer center they removed the tumor that was causing the migraines. “Cindy does not like having her picture taken,” Richard told me. And she’s not alone in that! There are a lot of us who don’t like to have our picture taken. That makes this picture of her, as she lay in the hospital bed after the operation with her head bandaged, even more remarkable. “She took this picture herself!”
As sometimes happens, especially after something as serious as a brain operation, complications set in.
Cindy had a strain bleed and although they caught it and repaired it right away, fluid accumulated faster than it could drain and her brain swelled. When they tried to wake her, she wouldn’t wake up. From there things went downhill, Cindy developed pneumonia and her condition continued to deteriorate.
Richard was alone. He was in a big city hospital and he was all alone. Chicago was far from family and friends in miles, but we were all with him in thought and prayers. Not the same thing, of course, and our oldest and much adored sister Patti jumped on an airplane and flew to Chicago to be with him!
Oh my gosh! What a great family we have! My heart is fairly bursting with love! I am so thankful that at a time like this Richard didn’t have to be alone anymore. Patti was there to offer a shoulder and an ear.
“Cindra never wanted to be a burden to anyone, she said she didn’t want anyone to wipe her butt! She didn’t want that!” Richard told me.
I smiled. I have often said the same thing myself!
“She wouldn’t even let me do things for her, she always said she could take care of herself. Before this operation - in fact we talked about this years ago! - before we left home Cindy wrote a letter saying she did not want to be kept on a machine. It was her wish.”
The days passed as we waited and prayed for Cindy to wake up. During this time she had a birthday as she lay unconscious in her hospital bed.
“She wasn’t going to wait for her birthday to have this operation which is really sad because she just turned 60 years old.”
“Did you sing Happy Birthday to her?” I asked.
“Everybody did. I put the kids on the speaker phone and even the nurses out there, you know, they heard us and wished her a happy birthday also. They are very caring people out there. Very.”
Richard stood by her bedside all week long watching life ebb from this strong and independent woman. He watched, he prayed and he listened as the doctors told him what to expect.
“No hope,” are the words they uttered. “No hope.”
Are there any words in the English language more terrifying than that?
The decision was made.
Cindy’s girls would arrive on Sunday. If there was no improvement by then, they would remove the life support.
Having just gone through something very similar myself, I can imagine how much it meant to the girls to be able to see their mother one last time, to tell her they loved her, one last time, to kiss her, one last time.
“I was there and the girls were there at her last moment. I had my lips on her lips and I knew when her last heart beat was and at that moment I knew she was at peace and I was at peace.”
And on November 8, 2015 Cindy went home to our Lord.
“What is one thing you want all of us to know about Cindy?”
“One thing...there’s more than one thing! She was very independent...and she had a big heart...” Richard paused then went on, “...her heart was...she loved kids! That’s what it was all about. She opened a daycare and had six kids at one time, but now she has just been taking care of the grandkids. If you look at this place, it’s full of toys and stuff. She was more concerned about the kids than anything. It was always about the kids.”
I interjected a few, uh-huhs along the way but mostly I let Richard talk and tell the story in his own way.
“Don’t get me wrong, she took good care of me too. Anything I needed she was more than willing to buy and she did! I have two packs of brand new socks in the bottom drawer of the dresser and a pack of underwear up there too. I have two bathrobes and one I’m still wearing and this is like five or six years later and I’m still wearing the first one because it’s not wore out yet...she’d find something that I like, she’d buy two of them so I’d have another one when that one wears out.
We had a good life and the bills were paid and there was always something...” I have a feeling Richard was going to say always something to eat but he didn’t finish as another thought occurred to him. “We’ve got so much food in the freezer right now I gotta start giving it away because there’s no way I’m going to eat it before it gets bad.”
“What do you think kept you together for twenty-four years?”
“Our kind hearts. She knew I was a good person and she was a good person too. We had our arguments and everything but a lot of times they would last a couple of hours or even overnight but in the morning she’d be there making coffee and I’ll...I’ll just walk up behind her, you know, wrap my arms around her and...” he paused as if remembering. “...give her a kiss on the neck and that was it! She’d turn around and we made up right there,” he laughed at the happy memory of make-up kisses.
“Uh-huh,” and I was smiling too.
“Life is rough, that’s for sure. She kept the house and when the bills need paid- everything was paid. I mean I got a real good credit rating right now - damn good! - because she made sure all the bills were paid.”
I could hear a great amount of pride in Richard’s voice as he spoke of his beloved wife.
“Can I write a follow-up to the first story I wrote?”
“Yeah. Something simple, nothing long, you know, maybe a couple of paragraphs, keep it real simple,” Richard says and I had to smile at that. He doesn’t know me very well, does he?
Cindra leaves behind two daughters, two step-daughters, twelve grandkids, one great-grandson and...
Heaven has gained a new angel.
And heaven’s new angel is named Cindra.
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